I'm desperately trying to stay awake at work, can't wait to go home and rest.

Can't wait for the hari raya special show tonight cos' that means I can watch Taufik Batisah!!!

I'm devestated..Lionel Lewis' married!!! Yeah, I know, slow...he's married like ages ago..but still! I just found out last week..boo hoo hoo. It's funny how we are affected by this kinda news when, in the first place, we know we wouldn't get the guy even when he's single and available. Humans are complicated..hahahaha..

CONGRATUATIONS TO SUF DEAR~! SHE PASSED HER DRIVING TEST!YAY!:D:D:D

I saw Fazrul Nawaz last Sat, and I saw Khairul Amri just now! Should have asked to take a photo with both of them. Darn it! Anyway...does it means that I can see my Lionel Lewis really soon? Hee. I can survive on hope. :P

It's a brand new day, time to forget and move on~

I had to admit, I was even more upset that WK was not agreeing entirely with me. Instead, he kept telling me to look at it from another point and view, so that I will realise it's something trivial and forget about it. It's hard, especially when you're so emotionally caught up with the matter. Totally exhausted, I just ended the conversation and went to bed. Yeah, I'm the kind who choose to avoid and sleep it off. Lying in bed, I was secretly 'hating' WK for what he said earlier while trying to tell myself that he has a point. One of the many moments when my evil and angelic voices try to fight off each other. Haha.

Just then, I was suddenly reminded of the time when I had a disagreement with Taufiq due to differing views. I ended the conversation because I wanted to cool down and didn't want things to turn ugly. The very next day, when he showed up for the match, he asked me if I was alright, with regards to the previous day. At that instant, I was warmed by that gesture because I knew he truly cares.

Then I stupidly realised that 'Hey, WK cares about me too.' They both dared to disagree because they truly care and want me to learn, instead of just blindly agreeing with me. Never was a time more appropriate than then to apply that ancient cliche phrase of 'treasure even more, the friends who will disagree with you, because they ...(kinda forgot. but definitely something good.)

So now, I just want to say thank you to all my friends, for daring to disagree with me(for a good reason, not blindly, SHIDA.), staying by me through all these years, even when I'm mean and unreasonable. I love you. :)

This is the straw in question. Isn't it so animated? I think my boss or whoever catches me drinking with this will laugh himself/herself to death, not forgeting to give me an amused look before that. Hehe...

Okay. I'm upset. Super tired, busy with all my activities and no one seems to care, at least not the people closest to me. I know, I deserve it. After all, I was the one who chose to live my next few years this way. I'm not asking you to understand my feelings, good if you could though, but the least you can do is NOT shoot me down with, ' If you want to say it that way, then you don't do it'. All I did was joke around, till you had to upset me with your words and yes, I was hurt. You think I enjoy being so busy, so tired, so much so that I don't have enough sleep? That I can't help but think that I have no social life? Who am I doing this for, in the first place? I want so much to quit, to have more time for myself, and to rest. But no, I kept telling myself, 'Steph, you have to give it a try, it's just for awhile, bear with it.' All because I don't want to burden any of you with my school fees and expenses. Put yourself in my position and experience how tiring it is, before comparing it to your activities, which is only one-third of what I'm doing right now. Yes, it's been a day but the hurt still remains there. I'm sure you don't even know what your words did to me. And the other one, you knew that I was upset yet you pretended nothing happened. I brought up the issue but you didn't bother to ask just because I didn't continue. Right now, you still know I'm upset, but yet again, you pretended nothing happened. Why? Probably because you think that I can't be spoilt. You think giving in means spoiling me. No, I just want someone to listen and understand, not someone who knew but ignored everything. Why is it that sometimes, I can't help but feel like I'm the unwanted child? I know i know, I keep convincing myself that you love me, but still I can't help but feel the hurt and pain.

I just want to say, I love you, but I don't always like you. This is the moment when I don't like you at all.

Guys, learn something. Don't always think ignoring is good, just because you can avoid all the naggings and complainings. You'll only end up hurting the other party more, towards your wife, your daughter or even your friends. Smarten up and don't be idiots.

Dear God, I know this is Your plans for me.
Hold my hand and bring me through this please...
Even when it gets tough and becomes too much to bear,
Let me still hold on tight and never let go...
Cos' I know now that,
You're the only one I can truly rely on.

50 minutes more, to the end of work! Been such a long day today. Nothing much to do, yet again. I'm not complaining. :)

I'm happy! Lunch was good, my drink was good, got myself a new straw (photo later ;P) so that I don't have to worry about the carton being dirty when I drink milk(no worries, not from China. HAHA) or juices. I slept around 8 hours last night, for the first time in decades. I'm satisfied. Chatting with Rachel on msn has kept me entertained during work, to kill time faster. I can sense her amusement even from my office, though. Haha.

My workplace's unique. My boss was sleeping at the operations place just now. Ivan, the guy who shares the office, was singing at the top of his voice. Someone turned up the volume of the radio, it's so loud now. This rider has been calling every other day to ask about the track, each time asking "ah, this one the new girl ah?" when I answer the call. I can almost recognise his voice now. Seriously, I'm kept entertained at work. That's good, I suppose?

I HAVE AN URGE TO READ A BOOK AND CROSS-STITCH!!!

Church's Live! recording was awesome! I had so much fun singing all the worship songs. At the end of it all, Shiyun and I had husky sexy voices. Haha. I'm so glad she came. I'm so proud of my worship team. They rock!:D

Pastor Neli leading the worship team.

And now.....for the long-awaited moment....Presenting to you, my new hairstyle!

Got this in my email today. Brought tears to my eyes. It's amazing how God uses each and every one of us to fulfil His purpose. Enjoy~

The Pastor and his Son

A good reminder of God's Love.

Every Sunday afternoon, after the morning service at the church, the Pastor and his
eleven year old son would go out into their town and hand out Gospel Tracts.

This particular Sunday afternoon, as it came time for the Pastor and his son to go to
the streets with their tracts, it was very cold outside, as well as pouring down rain.

The boy bundled up in his warmest and driest clothes and said, "OK, dad, I'm ready."

His Pastor dad asked, "Ready for what?"

"Dad, it's time we gather our tracts together and go out."

Dad responds, "Son, it's very cold outside and it's pouring down rain."

The boy gives his dad a surprised look, asking,

"But Dad, aren't people still going to Hell, even though it's raining?"

Dad answers, "Son, I am not going out in this weather."

Despondently, the boy asks, "Dad, can I go? Please?"

His father hesitated for a moment then said,

"Son, you can go. Here are the tracts, be careful son."

"Thanks Dad!"

And with that, he was off and out into the rain this eleven year old boy walked

the streets of the town going door to door and handing everybody he met in

the street a Gospel Tract.

After two hours of walking in the rain, he was soaking, bone-chilled wet and down
to his VERY LAST TRACT.

He stopped on a corner and looked for someone to hand a tract to,
but the streets were totally deserted.

Then he turned toward the first home he saw and started up the sidewalk to the
front door and rang the door bell. He rang the bell, but nobody answered.

He rang it again and again, but still no one answered. He waited but still no answer.

Finally, this eleven year old trooper turned to leave, but something stopped him.

Again, he turned to the door and rang the bell and knocked loudly on the door with his fist.

He waited, something holding him there on the front porch!

He rang again and this time the door slowly opened.

Standing in the doorway was a very sad-looking elderly lady.

She softly asked, "What can I do for you, son?"

With radiant eyes and a smile that lit up her world, this little boy said,

"Ma'am, I'm sorry if I disturbed you, but I just want to tell you that

*JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU* and I came to give you my very last Gospel Tract
which will tell you all about JESUS and His great LOVE."

With that, he handed her his last tract and turned to leave.

She called to him as he departed. "Thank you, son! And God Bless You!"

Well, the following Sunday morning in church Pastor Dad was in the pulpit.

As the service began, he asked, "Does anybody have any testimony or want to say anything?"

Slowly, in the back row of the church, an elderly lady stood to her feet.

As she began to speak, a look of glorious radiance came from her face,

"No one in this church knows me. I've never been here before.

You see, before last Sunday I was not a Christian.

My husband passed on some time ago, leaving me totally alone in this world.

Last Sunday, being a particularly cold and rainy day, it was even more so in my heart that

I came to the end of the line where I no longer had any hope or will to live.

So I took a rope and a chair and ascended the stairway into the attic of my home.

I fastened the rope securely to a rafter in the roof, then stood on the chair and

fastened the other end of the rope around my neck.

Standing on that chair, so lonely and brokenhearted I was about to leap off,
when suddenly the loud ringing of my doorbell downstairs startled me. I thought,

"I'll wait a minute, and whoever it is will go away."

I waited and waited, but the ringing doorbell seemed to get louder and more insistent,
and then the person ringing also started knocking loudly.

I thought to myself again, "Who on earth could this be?

Nobody ever rings my bell or comes to see me."

I loosened the rope from my neck and started for the front door,
all the while the bell rang louder and louder.

When I opened the door and looked I could hardly believe my eyes,
for there on my front porch was the most radiant and angelic little boy
I had ever seen in my life.

His SMILE, oh, I could never describe it to you!

The words that came from his mouth caused my heart that had long been dead,
TO LEAP TO LIFE as he exclaimed with a cherub-like voice,

"Ma'am, I just came to tell you that JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU."

Then he gave me this Gospel Tract that I now hold in my hand.

As the little angel disappeared back out into the cold and rain, I closed my door and
read slowly every word of this Gospel Tract.

Then I went up to my attic to get my rope and chair. I wouldn't be needing them any more.

You see - I am now a Happy Child of the KING. Since the address of your church was on the
back of this Gospel Tract, I have come here to personally say THANK YOU to God's little angel
who came just in the nick of time and by so doing, spared my soul from an eternity in hell."

There was not a dry eye in the church. And as shouts of praise and honor to THE KING
resounded off the very rafters of the building, Pastor Dad descended from the pulpit to the
front pew where the little angel was seated.

He took his son in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably.

Probably no church has had a more glorious moment, and probably this universe has never
seen a Papa that was more filled with love and honor for his son ... Except for One.

Blessed are your eyes for reading this message.

"Faith is the affirmation and the act that bids eternal truth be present fact." - Coleridge

I went for a haircut. The bangladeshi at my work place asked me why I cut my hair, it's not nice anymore. He even commented that I look like an auntie now. Great..:(

I'm trying to be optimistic about my new hairstyle. Even so, I can't help but feel that I look like...

THIS--->

I'm serious. Only a few strands left on my head..Haha. I look much cuter than this monster though. :D

I'm so tired. I just want to go home right now, into the comfort of my own bed. 30 long and slow minutes to go...*yawns*

I thought my office room is too dusty, causing me all the rash and itch, so I decided to clean it. My table was the first. Bit by bit, I'm gonna clean the room everyday. Haha. It will become dust free soon (i hope.:p)

I cut my own fringe again. Now I look like what they called "toot". Don't laugh. Grrr..

Been reading celebrities' blogs. Quite interesting.I thought Norfasarie and Baihakki are so sweet together and to each other. Whereas, Nat Ho's like a small boy. Blah Blah Blah. This is what you get when Steph's too bored and has nothing to do in the office.

This may sound crazy, but after reading Norfasarie and Baihakki's blog, looking at too many cute babies on the street, I want to get married and have babies! Haha. Early maternal instincts..:P

Should get changed and go for VSC training now. It's Police Defensive Tactics (PDT)'s time!

Random thoughts, random blog entry.

Spent my entire saturday with two lovely weirdos. Been such a long time! Went jalan jalan at the Hari Raya Bazaar, then was cheated into attending Khalis' NCC Officer's birthday, poor Min & me. Hazimah fell into the trap too. Haha. The birthday boy was actually blind-folded and made to perform many hilarious tasks at BUGIS JUNCTION, all on camera. Can't stop laughing. Min, be prepared for your 21st birthday, you can trust Khalis & me to make it soooo unforgettable. :P

Time for Photos!

Look at Min's stoned face

Min's stressed face (between two cute peeps. *shameless*)

Min looking so gangsterish. tsk tsk tsk

The ladies. (i was distracted.heez)

Camwhore Khalis #1

Camwhore Khalis #2

*blurriness is caused by Min's shaky hands. haiz..*

My beloved weirdos. Don't they look so cute??

A fun and fulfilling day, it was. Khalis & Min finally gave me my verrryyy belated birthday presentS. So sweet. A bag stuffed with other small small things. Gosh. I'm totally flooded by Macs' Sesame Street stuffed toys. I wonder how many kiddy meals Khalis ate, to get that amount! Haha. I love my presentS. Thank you so much! I'm already missing both of them, looking forward to the next meeting. :)
I feel blessed...

Finally, I found the right opportunity and gathered the courage to tell Sam Sir that I want to spar next year, for the experience. He agreed. Of course, it's never that easy. He made me lead the senior belts in running and that was extremely tiring. For those who think that leading is easy cos' you can determine your own speed, think twice. It doesn't always happen that way, not when your Sir is running beside you and pushing you to run faster. In additional, it was my first time running with the mouth guard and groin guard (yes, girls need it too.:S), long time since I ran with all the other guards too. Believe me, you will already feel like you're suffocating before running, with all that on your body. I took it as a challenge though, an opportunity that I'm provided with. Though I was overtaken in the end, it doesn't matter. At least I tried. Sparring was a blank. I knew I improved but definitely, there's still more to be brushed up on. Start preparing for next year!:D

I'm gonna meet my weirdo gang tomorrow! Can't wait. Miss the both of them.:)

HAPPY COACHES' DAY~!

Wishing all my Taekwondo & Hockey Coaches!

I'm so thankful for all the guidance and understanding throughout the years,

I am who I am because of you.

Special Thanks to: Sam Sir, John Sir, Quek Sir, Mr Samad, Taufiq & Harun.

:)

There! My FIRST post on a new blogskin. I'm gonna miss my old skin..but oh well, changes can be good. Haha. More updates soon!:)

"Celebrating Second Chances", the Yellow Ribbon Concert 2008 was awesome. I'm so glad that I went. Really enjoyed the inmates' performance. Boy, they can really sing, much much better than some professional singers, I would say. I was kinda touched to tears, listening to their songs, the lyrics they had written to show their remorse for their actions and gratefulness towards those who provided them with a second chance. I applaud their courage to stand out to share their stories, to show others that they have done wrong, but now, they are willing to change and all they ask for, is a second chance. I urge all of you who is reading this right now, to give offenders (past or present) a second chance. It may not mean much to you and me, but it certainly mean a million to them. With our help, they can reintegrate into society with a fresh start. So please, don't look at them with tainted eyes. We all make mistakes, they just happen to make a mistake that's more serious. This reminds me of what Jesus has said "Stone her if you have not sinned" (something like that)...

However, I'm sorry to say that I can't forgive rapists and murderers, they commit inhumane acts, may have tendencies to commit them again, especially the former. That said, it's not definite, have to depends on circumstances and the person's desire to change. I'm not encouraging anything, nor trying to be prejudiced against any kind of offender. It's just my own thoughts.

On another note, I finally get to hear Dick Lee live!. He's impressive, really amazing. He created a real concert atmosphere. His voice is like..whoo! Mark Lee did a number too, about "Mother", rather touching. I teared, being reminded of my own mother and all she has done for the family. By the way, Aliff Aziz was there too. He was not bad too..(sorry Shida, no photos allowed. Haha). I really cannot stand Emil Chau though! He sang so long, I felt the focus of the concert shifted slighted. The organisers seriously have to rethink about this. Stick to the theme, it's not Emil Chau's personal concert, as much as he's well-liked. More inmates should be allowed to perform, there's so many more people from Performing Arts Centre and elsewhere, I'm sure.

Last thing, Steph should really be more discipline and manage her time properly. The A may most probably be gone...maybe even the B..better wake up and buck up..tsk tsk tsk...DON'T BE LAZY..:S