Wednesday, 24 September 2008

This is the straw in question. Isn't it so animated? I think my boss or whoever catches me drinking with this will laugh himself/herself to death, not forgeting to give me an amused look before that. Hehe...

Okay. I'm upset. Super tired, busy with all my activities and no one seems to care, at least not the people closest to me. I know, I deserve it. After all, I was the one who chose to live my next few years this way. I'm not asking you to understand my feelings, good if you could though, but the least you can do is NOT shoot me down with, ' If you want to say it that way, then you don't do it'. All I did was joke around, till you had to upset me with your words and yes, I was hurt. You think I enjoy being so busy, so tired, so much so that I don't have enough sleep? That I can't help but think that I have no social life? Who am I doing this for, in the first place? I want so much to quit, to have more time for myself, and to rest. But no, I kept telling myself, 'Steph, you have to give it a try, it's just for awhile, bear with it.' All because I don't want to burden any of you with my school fees and expenses. Put yourself in my position and experience how tiring it is, before comparing it to your activities, which is only one-third of what I'm doing right now. Yes, it's been a day but the hurt still remains there. I'm sure you don't even know what your words did to me. And the other one, you knew that I was upset yet you pretended nothing happened. I brought up the issue but you didn't bother to ask just because I didn't continue. Right now, you still know I'm upset, but yet again, you pretended nothing happened. Why? Probably because you think that I can't be spoilt. You think giving in means spoiling me. No, I just want someone to listen and understand, not someone who knew but ignored everything. Why is it that sometimes, I can't help but feel like I'm the unwanted child? I know i know, I keep convincing myself that you love me, but still I can't help but feel the hurt and pain.

I just want to say, I love you, but I don't always like you. This is the moment when I don't like you at all.

Guys, learn something. Don't always think ignoring is good, just because you can avoid all the naggings and complainings. You'll only end up hurting the other party more, towards your wife, your daughter or even your friends. Smarten up and don't be idiots.

Dear God, I know this is Your plans for me.
Hold my hand and bring me through this please...
Even when it gets tough and becomes too much to bear,
Let me still hold on tight and never let go...
Cos' I know now that,
You're the only one I can truly rely on.

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