Last night, I dreamt of my kids from the childcare. We were at a chalet and I wanted to take photos with all of them. In it, I was carrying Zi Ying, one of the younger girls, when she spoke in clear sentences to me. She said, ' You lied to me, you didn't come the next day.' She can't speak properly now, for your info. At that moment, tears welled up in my eyes and I felt such pain and guilt within me, that I couldn't answer her, except to hug her. I think it's beginning to sink in, that I've left the place, and I'm starting to miss them greatly. All their faces, their voices, their every gestures are so vivid in my mind. Thinking back, how when I first joined as a teacher, Zi Ying was just trying to adjust to her new environment, crying every morning, to how she's now, turning back to smile at me each time I enter the place. How Jayden mispronounces my name and how he's so adorable with all his antics, to how he's experiencing mood swings, crying these few mornings and telling me that he wants to go home, he wants daddy. How Ashford would always ask me lots of questions and I would correct his english, how his feet would kick against mine during storytelling. I could go on forever...I really miss them a lot...

I really thank God for this wonderful experience and I'm thankful that I may be able to return to help the kids with their concert preparation. I hope that my days there had been meaningful, that I had helped to nurture God's children, to be great individuals in future, a wonderful next generation....

It's painful to leave, but I rejoice in the fact that I may have somehow made a difference in their lives. :)

The devil in me was so strong...I never thought that I had that strong an impulse in me that I really felt like walking out of the door just now with my bag. To think I actually packed my bag, ready to grab and go anytime. I smsed a friend, only to discover that he's off duty. I think God made it that way, because deep down inside me, I know that if he's on duty, I would have just walked out of the house and stay out for the night. Thank God I stayed and controlled my emotions, and thrashed it out. It always ends in the same way, though not entirely resolved but the tension is no longer present. I guess this is how it should be, quarrelling and then making up, the love for each other remains if not stronger each time...

Selamat Hari Raya~! It's nice how the festive season of each and every race and religion in Singapore can affect everyone. I feel the vibe and joy of the celebrations, especially when I headed down to Geylang Serai yesterday, for the bazaar. I'm happy and glad for the holiday, as well as the unique Singapore that I'm living in. Truly blessed~

I received a sms from Fred this morning, thanking the set up crew for our effort and updating us on his condition. Though it took me awhile to decipher the message as all the words were linked up, I felt warmth after reading the sms, warmed by his desire to get well so he can come back to serve in the ministry with us, that he still thought of us during his most difficult period. I pray that God will heal him completely and continue to bless him well.

Thursday's the last day of my work. I have finally chose to leave my job due to my study commitments. A painful and tough decision to make. With three days left with the students, I feel a dreading sense of farewell, for I know I cannot bear to leave them. I think I will end up crying on the last day of work. I'm already so attached to them! I know though, it's something that I have to do because I have to focus on my studies and fulfil a greater dream. I will still love my kids though! :D